~ a personal reflection for radical living with purpose.
I’ve been struck with insurmountable curiosity to choose my own paradigm. Life was moving at the speed of light with almost unmanageable amounts of activities and opportunities popping up left, right, and centre down under. Then, with the sudden stop to all things that bring connection, comfort, and creativity - life was halted.
I’ve been feeling the urge to change my lifestyle for the last year. Yes, I’m one of the thousands of whom the year 2020 triggered a quake of reflection that split my soul. The urge to explore beyond the bounds imposed on the collective began to surge from a place deep down.
With everything and everyone stripped away from us in Melbourne for over eight months’ duration, I had copious amounts of time to wonder what the heck I was still doing there. I found myself in a position to reflect on the way my life was moving and knew I needed to make another radical choice. I chose another trajectory for my life that would surely create immense change.
I moved to Melbourne with the intent to stay for maximum two years, but as life has it, that’s not exactly what happened. With a breakup, exploration of identity, and pursuit of my passions in a city of over 5.5 million people, I finally found what felt like my way. The three year mark hit hard with a sense of deep connection with Melbourne’s people, places, and my soul’s purpose. I was teaching yoga, my visa was approved, I was finally able to work longer than 6 months in one job (due to previous visa constraints), and made my own friendships that served as my family away from biological family. Life was thriving down under in the rated “most liveable city”. I have no doubt that that’s where I was meant to be for those 5 years.
Although I was, and remain to be, on the other side of the world from all I ever knew, I felt a huge sense of purpose in Australia. When activities, events, and even just a simple catch up with friends was taken away because the global pandemic hit (with additionally challenging times for my friends and family in the U.S. with civil unrest, politics, climate change, etc., etc.) I deeply wondered what the heck I was still doing in Melbourne. I knew it would be my last winter.
I felt my life creeping towards the top of a roller coaster, about to go down with unknown troughs at the bottom. A sense of excitement, urgency, and potential flooded my world. I’m at the pinnacle, waiting to breakthrough, waiting for the quake to break ground. I’m also just about to turn 30 with my Saturn Return in full effect from February 2021 (for all my astro-nerds out there you’ll know the significance of that one!).
Although those eight month’s of Melbourne lockdown stifled many opportunities, it enabled creativity to come out in ways never imagined. I enrolled in Yoga Therapy training, I started meditating consistently every day, I taught my very first Mindfulness-Informed Yoga course, I led Meditation Sanghas, and I ran my own weekly yoga classes from home. I felt like I was truly creating meaningful content to support myself and my community during this collective trauma. I also had a day-job which I found so much passion in, but certainly burned out my energy working with some of the most vulnerable people who have a disability to ensure they received the support they required, which was particularly challenging during the pandemic…
Amongst these times, I truly learned, witnessed, and felt that although we are all in the same sh*tty storm, we are not at all in the same boat. Some boats have big, beautiful sails, others have holes in their boats, some are made of steel, some of rotted wood… which fuelled my fire to stay serving the community I called home for many years. (That, and travel was pretty much impossible.)
The ground beneath my feet was shaking more and more with curiosity and wonderment. The mundane of daily life was chipping away at my spirit. The coaster of courage was climbing, and I could see beyond the prescribed safety net.
So, I hopped on a bus with recent boyfriend who I’d met years prior at the Melbourne climate strike (super cute little love story actually). We knew life would throw us around and tussle us in the waves, particularly with the fragile climate, but without the troughs - there are no peaks. The most concerning element was crossing that Victorian border that was closed for so long. We decided to go west for an indefinite amount of time… and it sure does feel freeing to be beyond the bounds of the ordinarily overwhelming way of life.
The structure of city life is no longer restricting me in my seat. My seat belt is secured, but also not really necessary. I’m choosing a way of life that requires me to ‘stress’ over where our next water fill-up will be, where we can find a free camp, and when we might find mobile coverage. To me, that puts meaning on the seemingly mundane components of life. For right now, that’s what satisfies my craving for life's vitality. I’m living with more purposeful stress than ever before.
Are you unsatisfied with life, searching for a purpose or a meaning?
Does the stress of the mundane seem meaningless and overwhelming for no reason?
If you’re dissatisfied with the days of your life, what radical authority can you take over your own choices to make the change you need to feel lighter, live more joyfully, and stress with purpose - even amongst a global pandemic? Not all of us have to go live in a bus on the road, but we really do have the power to choose our lives.
And, if you can’t control your particular circumstance, you can always change your perspective.
Thank you for reading. :)
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this personal reflection for radical living with purpose. Especially, if you feel unsatisfied with life, you’re constantly searching for purpose and meaning, and/or feel overwhelmed with the stress of the mundane.
Follow @habitualyogaspace on instagram for daily nuggets of my bus life, how to cope with life's stresses, & stay tuned for online courses and classes coming soon.